A blog for female AND male military “dependents”

The [non]Active Duty Spouse blog is geared toward answering common questions and providing useful military and lifestyle information to the spouses of the active duty service members of the US military.

About the Blog

There are other reliable blogs out there that cover similar topics, but in my queries over the years I found most of them to be dedicated to the “Army [insert other service] Wife”, written by wives and to be overtly feminine in content and style. Few acknowledged that spouses of active-duty service members are female AND male or that content overlaps across the military services. Though I am female, I try to maintain a writing style to appeal to both sexes so as not to alienate either, being a tom-boy in many ways myself. So, this blog is an attempt at a gender-neutral approach to sharing information with the female AND male counterparts, the NON-active duty spouses, of the military service member.

We are referred to by the military system as “dependents” regardless of our personal situation. Perhaps you are employed or self-employed, perhaps you maintain separate bank accounts or separate health care provision, or perhaps you do rely on the military system for your family’s primary source of income, insurance and healthcare. While I am grateful for the care and emphasis the military places on family values and resources, regardless of the situation, the connotation of “dependent” has always struck me as insinuating inactivity. Therefore, my blog title is a tongue-in-cheek slap at this connotation because the life of a military spouse and family, much like the active duty service member, is anything but inactive.

If you want to be INdependent, get informed.

I am the wife of an active duty member of the U.S. Army slowly navigating the ins and outs of married life, parenthood, and military life. Though I write from the Army perspective, many of the posts will apply across the US Military services. Whether you are a stay-at-home-parent, a homemaker, a work-at-home mom or dad, or a professional in the broader workforce, I hope you find the content of this blog to be helpful, inspirational, or, in some cases, conspiratorial!

As you live and work your way through a military lifestyle there are so many moments when you simply do not know and often cannot locate the answer to a plaguing question. I have found this most commonly occurs immediately following relocation or promotion. There are so many terms, rules, resources and expectations placed on both the military-employed and their spouses. I oftentimes feel overwhelmed by the plethora of information, but simultaneously underwhelmed by its lack of being relative or timely enough to be of use. I am constantly asking questions and looking for answers to better understand my spouse’s job, my role and any expectations of me by the military system, my surroundings, budget, pet care, healthcare, childcare, household upkeep, etc.

There is no end to the information that any spouse requires, regardless of military association. But, it does oftentimes seem that the military aspect adds an unexpected spin to many situations, and I always seemed to find out about these aspects the hard way, too late, or never at all. So, it is my hope that this blog helps others learn from the information I have gleaned and discovered over the years, to be a resource for you – the spouses – so that we can stop duplicating efforts as much as possible and start enjoying our families and lives all the more.

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